Untitled prt 2

I want to swim farther... but Ive never been there before.
You see.. thats the shallow end.
for 12 years ive been treading water in this deep end I call my life.
Barely able to stay afloat.
Barely able to catch a breath..
When it gets to hard..I close my eyes..and sink to the bottom.
Knowing the deeper I fall.. the heavier the pressure.
My body gets loose. my thoughts become a blurr...just like I like it.
I know I have to breathe but that would invovle me going to the top..& thats a no no.
So I enhale anyway..

At one point or another..I think to myself..."this is crazy.. come up!"
....so I do..I manage to come up. manage to climb the ladder out..

I stand & look at the water..thinking a million thoughts at once..all lacking words & substance.
I begin to wonder.. Will this be the cycle of my life??
Will things ever get better?
What is the brite side people rave about?
If this is all life has to offer.. Id rather sink....






NOTE: after reading this. I noted that it sounds a little suicidal.Dont worry..Makeda is not by far.