Washington DC

4.5.10

& i fall..again

"When our guys act up and we still choose to deal with them, have sex with them, cater to them, and allow them access to our heart, we aren't sending the message that we love them and down for whatever... we are sending a message that we stand for nothing and will allow anything..."--Keenya

* I had to borrow this quote from one of my favorite blogs( she borrowed) it too... So I log on here for the 1st time in a week and some change and this is what I 1st see...wtf

& I keep questioning why words like these keep knocking me upside that head? Everyday or so something comes up that has to do with my relationship. It gets to the point where I'm like WTF is going on here? I'm SO fucking sick of this thing we got going on here. I feel like a broken record for Gods sake.

& I cant figure out why when it comes to him that I loose my balls. I keep myself in the situation. Seeing the other girls on a daily.Smiling in my damn face. My friends don't know how I do it. keeping it 100. Knowing what and who he's doing. Then I had the nerve to slip up and give in to my desire and give it to him.Afterwards feeling so disappointed in my self.I know damn well that the easy way out would not be to just up and walk away because that's hard as hell..BUT its been nine damn months...enough to cook a baby.

2 comments:

♥Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder♥ said...

speaking from the stand point that I have been there before so I definitely know what your going through and where you are coming from. The only thing I can say is that when YOU finally get tired and you will its inevitable that is when you will decide to walk away and get you back!!! good luck with it. Remember your self worth and if it doesnt make you 100 percent happy then its not whats for you something better is out there!!!! Be Blesses xXCBXx

Queen2be said...

thnx.